St. Patrick's Day Humor & Irish Sayings
On St. Patrick's Day, everyone is Irish. So this year make sure you're full of Irish humor and sayings! Here are some of our favorites for you. Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Humor for kids:
1. What do you call a fake rock in
-A Sham Rock
2. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
-When it is a FRENCH fry!
3. Why shouldn’t you iron a 4-leaf clover?
-Because you don’t want to press your luck!
4. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
-Because they are always a little short.
5. What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
6. Do leprechauns make good secretaries?
-Yes, because they are great at short hand.
7. Why was the Irish river so rich?
-Because it had 2 banks.
8. Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height?
-Only a little!
1. An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question? "Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
2. Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty." "That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
3. Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" He said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!" "Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked. "No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'."
4. A Kerryman rang Aer Lingus and asked how long it took to fly from
"Just a minute sir," said the girl on the desk.
"Thank you," said the Kerryman and hung up.
5. A fellow walked into a bar in
"I'm warning you," said the barman, "I'm a Kerryman myself."
"That's allright," said the fellow, "I'll tell it slowly."
6. A man hired a Kerryman as an assistant to take phone calls. One day the phone rang and when the Kerryman answered he hung up immediately.
"Who was that?" asked his boss.
"Some fool saying it was a long distance from
1. May you be afflicted with the itch and have no nails to scratch with!
2. Here's to your roof,
may it be well thatched
And here's to all
under it -
May they be
3. Is minic a bhris béal duine a shrón
It is often that a person's mouth broke his nose.
4. Dance as if no one's watching, sing as if no one's listening, and live everyday as if it were your last.
5. A little fire that warms is better than a big fire that burns.
6. Wisdom is the comb given to a man after he has lost his hair.
7. Everyone lays a burden on the willing horse.
8. You can't kiss an Irish girl unexpectedly. You can only kiss her sooner than she thought you would.
9. An old broom knows the dirty corners best.
10. You'll never plough a field by turning it over in your mind.